Day 38 - Trust

I have always trusted first. I'm not the person that makes you prove yourself before I trust you. No,I give you the benefit if the doubt first. Not always the best plan to be sure.

Why do you (whoever may be reading this out there) think that is; I mean, why are some of us more trusting while others are not? And I'm not talking about those who have been abused or hurt and have a good reason not to trust. I'm talking about random folks. I've always wondered.

Certainly makes me curious . . . Keep an eye out for what makes you feel like you can trust or why you might automatically not trust . . . Let me know.

Be nTouch

Day 37 - Short and Sweet

Well, I decided to start something new today. Not ready to reveal details quite yet. With the conditions at work like they are, I need a plan B. I wish I could make a living BLOGGING, working on my website and making my bracelets, but that is pretty unrealistic at this point. Plan B just might be my way out. I keep telling myself "Life is too short." I better than anyone knows how true that statement is!

It's late and I'm ready for some sleep. Night from nGage and me.

Be nTouch.

Day 36 - Life After 40

You know, last week it occurred to me that one subject I had completely ignored was how much my life has changed after I turned 40. And I'm not defining that statement by life events. I've certainly experienced a variety of those. No, I mean change from the inside, from my core.

When I was in my 20's, life flew by and now seems relatively blurry. I fell in love for the first time (unless you count the very first boy that I thought I loved in the 7th grade that I still dream about . . . I'll save that for another post), graduated from college, started my career, moved out on my own, met my husband and got into debt. All milestones to be sure, but the day to day detail is hard to recall.

My 30's yielded even bigger events: I advanced in my career, bought my first home, married my husband, became a stepmother, had a baby, lost my husband, bought my second home, along with a lot of other "things" that go along with children, and grew my debt. I learned how to manage being a single Mom, full time employee, and dedicated volunteer. I cruised through those ten years without much thought about the future. Day to day presented enough challenge to keep my mind occupied. Along with the challenges were equal or sometimes rivaling amounts, of joy and reward. I was happy and for the most part refused to have any regrets. That was very important to me back then; living without regret. (We'll save that for a future post as well)

My 40's have so far been more about reflection than advancement. That's not to say that I haven't advanced, but everything about me has changed. Some subtle changes, some not so subtle. Whoever said that "everything starts to fall apart after 40" was right. My body has changed dramatically (at least as far as I'm concerned; others who know me don't seem to notice), I can't remember anything unless I write it down, which is a total contrast to my youth, I could remember every detail of every conversation and debate both sides if necessary. Now my self deprecating joke is that I am the best person to keep a secret because I won't remember the information, much less who divulged the dirt. My 40's have definitely given me reason to pause. I'm not as physically strong or fit as I used to be. I don't have the stamina but still have the desire, which seems oddly unfair. I am tired all the time and I have way too many "irons in the fire," as my sweet Grandmother used to say. I worry about getting cancer or dying prematurely. I worry about my teenager, although he just feels oppressed. I feel more alone than I ever have in any other time in my life. And yet, I also feel a sense of peace and recognition that I HAVE come along way from that 21 year college graduate. The experiences I lived through and survived, have shaped this time. So, these last few hundred days before my next decade will hopefully help me to solidify my perspective. "It is what it is" and "Life is hard," but it sure beats the alternative.

I sincerely pray that the next 50 years are full of adventure, perhaps love and companionship, certainly living debt-free and healthy, and that I remember to take notes so I don't forget a moment. After all,  I AM BLESSED!

Be nTouch







One of my favorite books! I don't want to be the boy. Do you?

Day 35 - Hair

Silly title? My hair is one of my least favorite parts of my body. Always has been. My youngest son, on the other hand, has his father's gorgeous, to die-for (what ever that means) hair. When he was younger, he preferred to have, what we in the south call, a buzz cut. I took that for granted. Now, I'm paying for it.

For the record, I have never, probably will never, care about my hair as much as my son cares about his mane. It is truly remarkable. It affects his mood and personality more often than not. He only trusts me to cut it which is always dangerous. No, hair is a sore subject at our house. I've included a picture of one of my more favorite buzzes, or I should say time frame when he had a buzz. Cute as can be! Now he is still very cute, but without hair, he looked more child-like. Now he looks like a teenage version of this little boy.

Be nTouch

Those were the days! 

Day 34 - Truly A Day of Rest

I'm in search of, but have yet to find, all the missing Days of Rest that I have lost. What happened to Sunday? I remember when nothing was open on Sunday. Your only activity was to get up and go to church. The only time you traveled on Sunday was if there was an emergency or you went out of town for the weekend, which hardly ever happened. Sunday truly was a day of rest. No more . . . I am in search of that Sunday when ALL we do is get up to go to church and come home to lay around,  ALL day long. A girl can dream . . .

Be nTouch

Day 33 - Game # 3 Furman vs. Citadel

Game #3 was a BIG win for the Paladins. This is the one game that I personally wanted Furman to win. At the risk of alienating future Citadel fan readers, I have to confess that this is the game that we had to win. Last year, the Citadel, in Charleston, SC, hosted our young men to play on their field. Unknown to me, this rivalry dates back generations. In all of my years of watching college football, I have NEVER witnessed a nastier fan base than the Citadel cadets and their fans. I must also admit that more than a little part of me wanted to be just as nasty! Thankfully, my normal classy demeanor took over and I behaved myself. We won, they lost, badly, end of story! It just goes to show you that football, particularly college football, where rivalries are steeped into traditions, can bring out the worst in all of us.

Max and the teenager (Wyatt)

Go Paladins and Be nTouch!

Day 32 - Goals and Parenting,

Wow . . . now there's a BROAD topic! Okay, I know but I am struggling with mine right now. I have too many, and not enough time to move forward toward most of them. (This time theme is certainly on my mind lately; I just need about 5 or 6 hours more in everyday, that's all . . . )

Seriously, I have so many goals that I can't seem to narrow them down. I have a hugely busy life, a stressful career (I am taking Dooce's advice and not typing ill of my job, but I could, trust me!) and a teenager living across the hall. The teenager, my youngest son, is the most wonderful and toughest part of any given day. He doesn't mean to be, I know, but (as he might type) OMG we can battle with each other.

Last night, which just might rank up there as the worst night on record, was truly surreal. Not since he was four or five years old have I witnessed such a melt-down. I'm not going into the particulars, because that would just be tacky, but suffice it to say, I wasn't sure we were going to come out on the other side of this Twilight Zone experience. I have long ago accepted the realization that I am, at least in his eyes, stupid some of the time, that I say the wrong thing much of the time and that I can be incredibly embarrassing with very little effort. I don't say yes enough and I am trying to keep him from growing up, but last night defied all logic, trumped all past WWIII preludes and became one of those nights I will forever regret. (Now, before you decide never to read this BLOG again, fearful I may reveal something really disturbing . . . assuming anyone has or will begin to follow this BLOG . . . there were no physical injuries, no one ran away and nothing got broken. But both of our feelings and psyches certainly were bruised terribly and the drama was in high gear from both the parent and the child. Not one of my finer parenting moments, but I digress . . . ) Once there were no more tears and we were both exhausted, we calmed down, hugged and tried to start over. I vowed to never allow myself to get that worked up again . . .  which led me to this BLOG about goals and parenting.

It is rather cliche to state that there is nothing easy about parenting. Of course it is easy to love and nurture and have dreams about what your child or children will become. But the nitty, gritty, disciplinarian, truth is that parenting is hard. Especially when you are alone. It often times hardens your perspective and doesn't allow for flexibility. On the other hand, we all know parents who are more interested in being friends. They make my job a LOT harder and I have gotten to the point that I would like to ban them from our little universe! (Who died and made me Queen?) Seriously. being friends with a teenager is a BAD plan. Don't try it because you will live to regret it, and so will all of us parents who are depending on you to do the right thing. Parenting takes a village, unless you live on an island . . . then you can be friends all day long, and it won't bother anyone else.

What does all this mean? I finally had some time today to get a few things off my chest. I'm no expert and this rant isn't meant to be a rant at all. Remember, I set out to share each day before the big 50. I'm just following that GOAL!

Be nTouch

Not a teenager yet! Look at that face!!

Day 31 - BLESSINGS

Today was a day full of emotion and mixed blessings. Today, Was Brenda's Mom's funeral. It was a stark reminder of life, how short it really is, how we all must try to live each day and not just talk about living. Mrs. Slaughter had several tragedies to live with. She lost her sweet husband and two daughters prematurely. She battled with several lung illnesses for many, many years. But she did live! 

Although today was sad, and Brenda and her family will struggle with this loss and the void it will leave, for a long time, they can certainly feel blessed to have been able to live with and love Jo Ann for many years. And I feel blessed to have been able to spend some wonderful time with my friends today. I miss them dearly.

Be nTouch and treasure your BLESSINGS

Day 30 - Dear Friends

Again, I will be brief . . . please forgive!

Have you ever noticed that NO MATTER what the circumstance, NO MATTER what the issue is, your dear friends (and I pray you have at least one if not more) are ALWAYS right beside you, or behind you or in front of you, depending on your need. I know I take them for granted. I know I don't spend enough time with them. I know that I would do ANYTHING for them, or a member of their family. I know I want to make the time instead of excuses . . . we only have this moment, not promised any time beyond that . . . I know I will do better. Now that I have written it down, put it "out there" so to type, I must make changes, now.

I miss my dear friends! God Bless you all!

Be nTouch

Day 29 - No TIME

Wasn't I just talking about time . . . my goodness, this week is already getting away from me.

Nothing to report today. Not that I don't have any thoughts that might nSpire; I have just run out of the time to articulate them the way that I would like to.

Apologies, but this entire week, or at least the next three days, are going to be slim.

Please, be nTouch . . .

Day 28 - Moms

Today was a sad day for one of my dearest friend's in the world. This morning, my sweet friend Brenda lost her Mom. Earlier this summer, my other dear friend Alison, lost her Mom. Obviously, it makes me think about my Mom. I am lucky to still have her in my life and wish we were closer.

Our relationship has been strained for several years now. We used to talk and spend time together. I used to look forward to sharing hopes and dreams, sadness and frustration; the full range of emotion that daughters and mothers usually share. But we came to an impasse and have never been the same. I truly don't think we ever will be. That thought makes me very sad and today has reminded me that both Alison and Brenda would say, please don't waste another day, let it go and forget. Good advice . . . I need to figure out some way to start a new relationship with my Mom. The past is gone, but the future could present a new beginning. I know that if there is going to be a new start, I am going to have to initiate it, nurture it and make sure it continues. It is all on me . . . perhaps that has been part of the problem all along. But she is worth it and so am I.

God Bless Brenda and Alison! I know their Moms are smiling down now. I love you both very much!

Be nTouch

Day 27 - FOOTBALL FEVER . . .

College Football is here! The only thing better than football in the fall, is baseball in the spring. It was a very long drive home from South Carolina, but well worth the trip. South Carolina didn't expect the Paladins to come to their stadium and give them a good scare. Can't stop thinking about it. Go Paladins

Next Saturday . . . get ready Cadets . . . we will have to give you a little pay back from last year. It's going to be a long trip back to Charleston!

Get your souvenir helmet today.  Be nTouch!

Day 26 - Game Number Two

SOCON Defensive Player of the Week    9-11-2010

Does he look ready to you? This was actually taken at last week's game against Colgate University. Today will be a much harder game against South Carolina. I'm a little nervous. Always worried about injuries when they play these teams made up of bigger players. Last year, the team faced Missouri and then Auburn. Thankfully, everyone stayed safe. (Sorry, I'm a Mom first!)

Looking at this picture takes me back to when he was a little boy. He sure isn't little any more.

Kick off is in a few hours. I'll pick this up after the game tonight; sort of a two part er in one session.
Until then . . .

OMG . . . for everyone over 60, that means Oh My God (or Goodness, which I prefer) What a game. First, we are very sad that one of our quarterbacks was hurt and will be out for the season. But Max had a fantastic game. His name was called more than any one single player on the field, on either side. And he stayed safe! It's late but I had to give a final update . . . the Furman Paladins scared the Carolina Gamecocks and it felt good to be wearing purple in that sea of burnt red, or rust or whatever that "red" color was supposed to be.

Go Paladins!

Day 25 - Thank God It's Friday

Today is a short one . . . trying to finish up a very LONG week to get on the road tonight, headed to Columbia, SC for Furman football. Big game tomorrow, six hour drive tonight, TGIF!

Be nTouch

Day - 24 Head Above Water

Don't get me wrong . . . I'm glad, happy most of the time, that I made this commitment to myself. It has been a true test of my time management skills to say the least. Trust me when I type that I rarely go a few minutes without something to say (or in this case, write). But "time" to write is often times a struggle. I simply run out of "time." Hence the reference to management skills, or the lack of them occasionally. I'm like the doctor's office that overbooks to try to squeeze more patients in each day. This little BLOG is sitting in my waiting room, ready to share her list for the day, with the doctor, you all (I know there's no one out there, yet . . . I'm typing metaphorically) but having to wait for "her" time to share . . .

To be continued . . .

Day 23 - Garlic Soup . . .

Garlic Soup

Okay, before you say ooooew . . . did I spell that right? Garlic soup is what my youngest child always called chicken noodle soup when he was little. Don't know why, doesn't really matter. The name stuck and that's just what we call it. Tonight, we are having Garlic Soup because neither of us feel great. Isn't it funny how your children come up with some of the cutest, sweetest, funniest sayings or names for common items or expressions? When my youngest was tiny, he would say music when he should have said "excuse me"  . . . or he called ketchup, dip. Garlic Soup has become our comfort food when life has been hard, there is a sore throat looming in the back ground or when a grilled cheese needs a side-kick. Our tradition, plain and simple. Thank goodness for traditions!

Oh and Happy Birthday William Walker :)

Be nTouch

Day 22 - Do you ever think, What if?

The question What if can be a powerful tool or a dangerous point of view if you aren't careful. Yesterday's post was pretty emotional, so I want to try to keep it a little lighter today.

Call me crazy but I think about What if  all the time. It never drives me crazy like I suppose it could do to some. I guess it has almost become a little game I play with myself. (That looks a little scary in print . . . I don't usually "play games" with myself or anyone else, unless we are talking about board games or cards) I guess what I mean is I often have thoughts just pop into my head and depending on what is going on, sometimes I just jump on those thoughts and see where they take me. A few of my posts can be credited to  these thoughtful journeys I have in my mind. So think about it, if you will . . . ask yourself, What if,  about something, anything really, and see where your imagination takes you. And if there is anyone out there that may stumble upon this BLOG, by all means, share!

Be nTouch

Day 21 - Signs

Today has been remarkable . . . not because of the weather, or anything out of the ordinary . . . no, it was remarkable because I finally recognized the Signs I was meant to see. Granted, it took two of them and almost an entire day, but I finally noticed.

Sign number one was early. I was watching the Today show and a young pregnant women was being interviewed. Mornings can be a little hairy, so I had one eye on the TV and one eye on the peanut butter sandwich I was crafting for school lunch. Something about the story, that I was vaguely listening to, peeked my interest and I surrendered the peanut butter.

The gist is this:
One evening, not sure when, this young pregnant women, and her husband of almost five years, were traveling in their car. Another car, coming in the opposite direction, swerved once into their lane, tried to compensate, only making matters worse, and finally crashed into this young women's car. The details surrounding the other car's driver and passengers were clear; teenagers, impaired from alcohol and drugs, were multitasking and lost control of the car. Two of the four or five passengers were killed. And the young women's car? Her husband evidently realized what was about to happen and swerved into the oncoming SUV, on his side. She feels as though this final unselfish act saved her and their unborn child. Her husband died at the scene. Had their car hit the oncoming SUV head-on, all three would have died.


Obviously, I don't have to explain why this story would tug at most caring people, even for a moment. For me, it was more than a tug. It moved me to tears. She was trying to tell me and everyone else listening, one critical thought . . . don't take anything for granted, tell your family, friends, those who you love and care about, how you feel as often as you can; hug them and show them how much they mean to you . . . She's so right! This was my first sign.

Sign number two came at the end of my day. My son was cranky after school, and we were in the middle of what has become our typical yin and yang about homework, his day, grades . . . I was not interested in excuses, I wanted results! He didn't feel good, which is how he usually copes with anything that makes him uncomfortable or unhappy. So we rode to his dentist appointment in strained silence. We were late, which was his fault, and I had to remind him of that fact as we were getting out of the car. Once he was escorted back to get his teeth cleaned, I sat in the waiting room, decompressing, answering emails on my phone, oblivious to the epiphany I was about to experience. Hold that thought . . .

At this point, I need to offer a little bit of background. In the late 1980's, early 90's, one of my favorite musical artists was a guy named Richard Marx. He had a few albums that were popular. My three favorite songs of his, which also reminded me of my then fiance, soon to be husband (1993) were Right Here Waiting, Now and Forever  and Hold On To The Night. Every time I hear any one of these songs, I'm back in the early 90's with my husband, living happily ever after . . .

Back to the epiphany: So, I'm sitting there, waiting on my son, feeling anxious and tense (which incidentally is not on my nTouchb450 list, quite the opposite actually) and then Now and Forever begins to play over the Mu sac system. And it hits me, thanks to this second sign . . .  I'm missing the point of this day, and yesterday and maybe tomorrow if I'm not careful. The young woman on the Today show talked to me about it, Richard Marx was now singing it to me loud and clear . . . What are you waiting for, an engraved invitation to live and be grateful for ALL you have . . . what more do you need to be HAPPY?  I was sitting, practically in tears in the dentist's office and I absolutely couldn't wait to hug my son, tell him how proud I am of him and how much I love him, NOT TAKE HIM OR ANYTHING ELSE FOR GRANTED, because that is exactly what I was doing. Taking it all for granted. Happiness and peace come from within, not from all the gadgets or nDulgences we all live with. There are NO GUARANTEES ever! We wake up, we walk through our day, we go to sleep and we start all over again the next day, if we are lucky! I better than anyone knows that; shame on me for forgetting.

Now as you might imagine, my son, who is only 15 and not as nTuned to these deep moments as his dear old Mom (plus he didn't share in this experience with me) was more than a little taken aback by my sudden and undeniable need to be close to him. He left "uptight, grouchy Mom" and came back to "everything is right with the world Mom." Okay, he looked at me like I had two heads at first, but eventually, he "walked the walk" with me. It's that ole apple falling not too far from the tree thing! He is after all, my son. I may bug him, but we are a team. We will always be a team.

Thank you, thank you, thank you . . . I'm feeling closer to me already :)

[In case you want to hear what my second sign sounded like, follow this handy dandy link, close your eyes and think of someone you love.]

http://ilike.myspacecdn.com/play#Richard+Marx:Now+And+Forever:37481:s502545.9631259.13311289.0.2.56%2Cstd_c660ae0af45644ac95c1cab39ef0699a

Day 21 - The Day After . . .

Remember that song, "Rainy days and Monday's always bring me down?" It wasn't raining but it was Monday. Think about this idea, work four days and have a three day weekend, every week. That sounds great to me! It certainly isn't because I'm lazy . . . No way. It's more about having balance. Work and rest need to be more nSync. That would be my campaign platform. That and NO taxes . . . Oh well.

Day 20 - September 11th and the first game of the season

I will admit that it is hard to type or say September 11th without feeling a tug at my heart. Thankfully, this year, we had a wonderful distraction, the first game of the season. We left home this morning at 6:20. The five hour drive was uneventful, however, the peace and quiet gave me a lot of time to think about the history of events this day represents. This written journey is becoming something other than what I nTended it to be. I have already gotten distracted from time to time, and begun to write as if I have an audience, which I don't! This is supposed to be about reconnecting with me, nTouch with me before I turn 50. I begin again today!

September 11th . . . I was too young to remember the day JFK was shot and died. Although I do remember countless times throughout my life, grownups uttering the phrase, "do you remember where you were or what you were doing when JFK got shot?" The older I became, the more I realized how significant that day was to my parents and everyone else whose day stopped the moment they heard about their president. If you are my age or younger, you know what I'm describing. My youngest son, now 15, might feel the same way about 9/11. He was in kindergarten. His memories aren't his own, not really. Plus, for the first few years, I think the country was still in shock, so every anniversary it was as if it were happening all over again. The media replayed the day's events over and over, as if any of us needed the reminder. Now, nine years later, the pain isn't as intense, but all it would take was to watch original footage, and I would be back there again, that morning, glued to the TV, watching one horrible event after another unfold. The helpless, surreal moments that came together that morning will never leave me. I remember where I was, who I talked to, what I was doing the moments leading up to my phone ringing with the news, how scared and utterly broken I felt . . . raw was an emotion I had some experience feeling; that morning, I felt like I did the day my husband died, only worse. I didn't have anyone close to me die, but I knew a little bit about what all those people were feeling. Of course, I didn't really know, I just thought I did. I don't need to remind anyone old enough to share these sentiments how they felt that day, or for weeks and months and even years afterwards. None of us will ever forget September 11, 2001 or 9/11 . . .

Today, is a different day . . . today, I watched my oldest son, play football in their season opener, his senior year. He had a tremendous game, got defensive player of the game, and as far as I can tell, had a great day. Life truly does go on. That is the BLESSING . . . there will always be terrorists and bad guys and opportunists and danger . . . conversely, we must look beyond all the bad elements around us and stay focused on what is good. I know that sounds like dime-store psychology, but it is true. Our days, our relationships, our lives are largely what we make of them. I choose to be happy. That is really what this daily devotion to being nTouch with me is all about. I want to explore more of what I think and why I think the way I do . . . and I want to find peace and balance and certainly happiness, along the way.

Today's September 11th just might be the beginning of a new way to remember this day. Plus, it's Kimby and Mosen's birthday. Happy birthday!

Peace

Day 19 - Too Tired . . .

Have you ever been so tired that you can't keep your thoughts in order? That is me tonight. It has been a very long, stressful week, following an equally long week, the week before. I'm afraid all I'm good for tonight is this signing in and then signing out . . . Hopefully, I'll have more steam tomorrow. We are headed to Greenville, SC to watch football tomorrow at 6 AM.  I mentioned Max the other day.

I need to shut this down for tonight, but I promise tomorrow, I'll start getting back on track. I haven't been myself the last few days. nSearch of me begins at 5 AM, September 11th. Oh, and God Bless America. I sure hope everyone stays safe tomorrow.

Stay tuned . . . and say a prayer.

By now!

Day 18 - Do you ever overreact or exaggerate?

Well of course you do, we all do. I really hate when I overreact because I'm too tired and stressed. Not a good combination! I suppose overreacting and exaggerating don't really go hand in hand, but there is a common thread in there somewhere. There is something about not staying true or real to the particular circumstance, the need to embellish to the point that the situation is unbelievable, that  is what adds to the story. It is as if the story isn't good or believable if you don't "super size" it. Anyway, tonight, I completely overreacted and now, I'm sad, my boy is sad and for what? So I could one up . . .  who?

Moral of of the story . . . ALWAYS take a deep breath or a deliberate pause before reacting at all. You have the time. You need to take the break . . . wait, then react.

Bye now

Day 17 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAX

My big guy turns 23! Wow . . . he thinks he feels old. I remember when I turned 40 and complained about my age to my Dad; his comment was, how do you think I feel? I get it now . . .

He has a big weekend this weekend. He is a senior, and a football player, for Furman University. Their first game of his final season is this Saturday, (11th) at 2:00 PM EST. We can't wait. Look for a picture posted that day from the game. Go Paladins! Love you Maxi  :)

Bye now

Day 16 - Why don't children come with a manual?

Why is it that the MOST IMPORTANT job I will ever have, raising my son, was thrust upon me with NO instructions included? Not that he was thrust upon me . . . but really, every gadget, project, chore, has a manual, a literal or virtual "Here's how this works, here's what you do, here's what you don't do"  . . . As a parent, I have choices. Sometimes NO means NO and other times NO means, I'm mad right now, but if you keep waring me down, you will probably get a YES, begrudgingly, but a yes all the same. (Did I spell begrudgingly right? It certainly doesn't look right. Is that even a word? Humm . . . ) What in the world is that all about. I know I'm not alone. How many times have you said NO, but that answer just didn't stick?

Okay, now I have to pause because I can already think of more than a handful of parents that would proudly profess that NO means NO every time, period! Well, to that, I would have to say, (if anyone was actually reading this anyway) I call B.S. And that's not Bachelor of Science . . . My child, who I truly love more than I love myself, seriously, has a way to work my system. He knows what to say, how to say it and more importantly, when . . . so, does that make him wrong or smart? I truly don't know but I can tell you that we will be following this story line from time to time, until he is 35, owner of his own home, making more money than me, with a budding retirement plan. Get the picture?

No, I haven't had a particularly bad day, but I have come to the conclusion that I wish I had a manual to fall back on . . . one that I could reference; back-up if you will . . . but until that time, the time where some really smart person, writes a manual, from birth to 35 or so, I will be BLOGGING, from time to time, about this serious flaw in the parenting system. If anyone out there is actually tuning in, I would sincerely appreciate your thoughts. And Melinda, I'm sorry for the terrible grammar and run-on sentences . . . a mess, I know. Thank God you love me anyway!

Bye now

My sweet son, back when I was the center of his universe . . .

Day 15 - First Sign of Fall

My father sent this picture to me yesterday. It reminded me that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Both my parents have always noticed the less obvious, the somewhat obscure snapshots all around us. Someone might actually see this picture and think: "That is incredibly obvious! A bright red leaf in a sea of dark green. How can you be any more obvious?"

 I agree at face value. However, picture yourself in the middle of a busy day, rushing to get to your next stop or appointment or whatever. You are not only focused on your destination, but your brain is also subtly calculating all that you haven't finished or all that you will need to complete before the day ends. Would you be the person, like my Dad, who not only stops in his tracks to observe and pay respect to this single red leaf, but also pulls out his iPhone to capture the moment digitally? Would you walk by a sea of clover and think: "Time to get out the weed 'n feed." Or would you stop and search for that one little character, hiding among his fellow three leaf buddies, proudly supporting four leaves. This oddity is surely not considered strange in the clover-world . . . instead, perhaps this little four leaf clover is looked upon as rare, like clover royalty. All the three leaf clovers hover close to protect, shelter, even hide their special four leaf companion. (Okay, maybe that is a little over the top . . . My first serious paper, written in the fifth grade, was about a little button that fell off of a coat,  rolling into some serious adventures, until he was finally reunited with his beloved coat, where he lived happily ever after . . . so clover royalty for me, is nothing special, really!)

All this to say . . . staying nTouch with yourself, your family and friends, your faith and your future world is nCredibly important. Next time you are in a big hurry, slow down, open yours eyes, your mind and quite possibly your heart, and take a look around. Imagine the possibilities!

Gotta go check out my day . . . oh yeah, Happy Labor Day.

Oops, I almost forgot, Happy Birthday Valerie! You are always the friend that sends me a card for my birthday, every year, right on time, and I NEVER remember to send yours! So this year, you are in my thoughts today. Look for a little something special in the mail from me this week. Thanks for not giving up on me. Love you!

Bye now!

(In the spirit of staying nTouch, I will, from time to time, recommend books at the end of my daily scribe. Here you go:

Day 14 - Sunday before Labor Day

Today is the beginning of another chapter for me. All I can say now, is I am fighting to stay positive, get organized and preparing for the storm at work. VERY GRATEFUL tomorrow is a holiday! I need one more day before this next week starts, It is sure to be a doozy, as Grandma Margaret used to say.

Bye now!

Day 13 - It is what it is . . .

Happens to be one of my favorite phrases, except when something is really wrong and you are trying to make the best of a bad situation. It is, obviously means you are totally connected with reality . . . the, "what it is" part is a little about concessions. I guess it all means let's try to find balance. Easier said than done when you are a single, working parentbof a teenager. No complaints really, but would love a little more balance.

And another thing, why is it that "NO" really doesn't mean no to a teenager. It means, "keep pushing until she says yes or at least maybe or I'll think about it." Man, no means no! Doesn't it? Since when do teenagers have the right or the inclination to push soooo hard? When I was a teenager, a century ago, I argued some, but fir the most part, I was too concerned that one or both of my parents would be disappointed in me. I clearly have not inspired the same degree of respect or fear, depending on your point of view.

Well, enough of this. I'll get back on track tomorrow. I want to be interesting, I promise. I'll get it :).

Bye for now!

Day 12 - Life is Good . . . but Life is Hard!

Just like yesterday, BLOGGING is not my top priority today. Gosh, I hate that, because I had gotten into the groove and was really nJoying myself. Tomorrow is another day and I am certainly thankful for that. Tomorrow . . .

Until then, bye now!

Day 11 - Bad Day

Unfortunately, I have run out of steam today. Can't really talk about it . . . work related, but need to pause and be peaceful. I'm still on schedule, BLOGGING every day, but today will be this, and this alone! Bummer, I know. There's always tomorrow. Thank God!

Bye for now

Day 10 - What was I thinking?

My Favorite Pez, Yoda says . . . "nGage Today, visit you will."

I can't believe I talked about bed bugs last night. What was I thinking? I can't use alcohol as an excuse (at least not last night). I guess we just move on . . .

Today was like another birthday for me. Today, September 1, 2010, I launched our new website, nGage Today. A lot of time and thought have gone into this project, so in a way, it was born today. The website has been available to a few folks who were very helpful in its design. But the moment of truth happened today, before 10:00 AM. I reached out to the charities we want to support and to a large group of friends and family.  Each of them will certainly be just fine without our donation, but I would very much like to help support their wonderful efforts financially. I'll keep you posted.

I guess today is also a day for confessions. I was so busy today (and technology challenged, which is another BLOG altogether) I fell back into an old BAD habit. I spoke on my phone more than once while driving. I even dialed once. It is amazing to me how stupid it was to talk on the phone, or use it for anything, while I operate a car. My realization jolted me back into gear, so . . . NO MORE PHONE while driving! How about you? Look for an nGage challenge soon. That reminds me, you can get to nGage Today by clicking on the link posted under our Favorite Website section in the top right corner of this BLOG.

Enough for now, don't ya think?

Bye now