SIX MORE DAYS

In 6 more days, I'll have to rename this BLOG! Time has flown by these last several days, weeks and honestly, months. On Monday, just 2 days ago, I spent almost two hours at the local DMV with my youngest, in what became his first attempt to pass his drivers test. We went in to this experience with the usual nervous feelings and doubt that one might expect. What we didn't know, but will certainly share with anyone who wants to know, is that passing or not passing may have little to do with knowledge or ability. In my son's case, we are both relatively certain that the driving examiner decided, before he ever put the car in motion, that he was not going to pass. (Okay, if you have read any of my postings you know that I make every attempt to be fair, reasonable and open minded . . . I am not a person who quickly judges a behavior unless provoked to do so) Without reliving the meladrama, just suffice to say that this examiner was rude and disrespectful to me and my son. She tried to confuse him from the moment she sat in the car and then made him feel stupid by mocking him. He said he knew he had failed before they ever left the parking lot. When they returned, she called me to the car and replayed each detail of her experience with sarcasm and condesention. It wasn't enough that she had failed this young man; she had to rub his face in the experience. Ultimately, it proved to be a great life lesson. After tears and anger and a few slammed doors, we decided the best course was to return first thing the following morning to slay the dragon. And he did! He passed the second time and as he drove away from our house (after dropping me off) on his way to school, I was sick to my stomach. Happy for his accomplishment, sad for me. Another part of his childhood was gone for ever. Now, 24 hours later, I still feel that unsettled feeling of dread. I won't let it take over and I won't obsess, but my goodness it is hard letting him go . . .

So, as you can see, my focus, as usual, has not been on myself. I believe that is the real reason that I let this BLOG go. In the beginning, it was easy and exciting, but I realized pretty quickly, that very little of my day to day, week to week, is about me. Instead, it is about my children, mainly my youngest now, my family, my friends, the laundry and housework and yard work . . . and that is just the personal stuff. My job can be consuming, and not in a very positive or healthy way, as I have 8 individuals that depend on me to trouble shoot, solve problems, fix situations, etc. everyday of the week. Since I don't go to an office, all of the stress that goes along with my job hovers over me, in my home, like a dark cloud. So when my Mom, or my sister or a friend or co-worker, calls and I'm not effervescent, there is probably a good reason for it. I'm not complaining, but I do believe I have more than my fair share of responsibility every day. This BLOG has fallen by the wayside because there just aren't enough hours in the day!

The next few days will probably fly by and then I'll wake up to 50. Will I be any wiser, weaker, older? Who knows . . . but I know one thing is certain, I'll still have to do laundry, and housework and yard work, take care of 4 animals and go to work. The saying age is just a number, is probably right!

Be nTouch for SIX MORE DAYS!