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Welcome to my world; the world before 50. I encourage you to provide feedback. It can be awfully lonely in here all by myself.

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Day 197 - Motherhood

You would think that in all of the hundreds and thousands of years there have been Mothers, someone would have put together a manual. A real, step by step map for the journey that none of us are ever prepared for . . . my sweet boy, 15 years in the making, is sitting in his room, even as I type, despising me. It's a real "feel good" moment for me. NOT! Tonight ended up in one of our worst fights ever. (every worst fight ever, I think can't be beat, which scares me to death because tonight was for the record books!)

He isn't the only one to blame. Nope, I totally lost my cool; yelled, screamed, (no cussing thankfully) told him how incredibly selfish and self absorbed he is (which happens to be true, but my goodness, he's a healthy 15 year old . . . what was I thinking, right?) I wasn't thinking. Okay, so the pity party begins . . . Sometimes I get overwhelmed and stressed beyond my own abilities . . . sometimes I feel stretched past my limit and then I realize how alone I am and remember that there is no one there to take care of me . . . it is ALL up to me . . . okay, that's enough! Silly, I know . . . poor pitiful me!

Anyway, today is finally over, thank God, I'm heading to bed and praying that tomorrow, my sweet boy and I can make up and get past this yucky, yucky night.

Signing out . . . worst mother ever!

Be nTouch (if you dare)

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